"I love hoops. LOVE 'em. They are hands down my favourite earring type and I've been wearing them for donkeys years. I've tried 'em all: huge, massive ones. Fat ones, thin ones, chavvy Lily Allen ones (not a success) but always in gold-coloured metal.
"Let me disabuse you of something: I never spend money on them. My hoops, because I leave them down places, forget them in hotels, spray them with perfume and hairspray and otherwise mistreat them, are almost always €5.99 Freedom from Topshop specials. If I had pricey ones I'd just loose them, and although I did flirt for five minutes with the idea of buying some for 'good' in actual gold, I disabused myself of that notion sharpish.
"Hoops suit me because I most often wear my hair up and they frame my face. While I own many a statement chandelier, I just wear gold circles by default. They're 'my earring'. I'm a less gaudy dresser than I used to be but I believe my initial reason for wearing them was because they didn't fight with anything else I was wearing: if I'm wearing a bright top and big neckpiece, then I'm not gonna lay on the ear-jewels too.
"In fact, Frillseekers, you could say hoops are practically a neutral. Practically."
"I never wear hoops. It’s totally personal, I simply feel they look silly on me. I cant get it right, anytime I tried, I either went too small or too big. I’ve yet to find a size that would look okay on me. Its a pain in the hoop and I detest the things.
"My dislike probably stems back to my youth. I was too afraid to pierce both ears and while I was plucking up the courage to get my second lobe pierced I thought it would be cool to try aim for the Esmerelda look, you know the beautiful gypsy from The Hunchback of Notre Dame? I popped in a golden hoop and thought I was the bees knees. Children can be so cruel.
"Writing this I have come to realize that nine times out of ten, it's the wearer the fault lies with, myself included:
People with tiny heads opting for hoops so big they bang off her shoulders and skew to the side.
Wearing thick, heavy loops causing lobes droop so much ears look like The Scream.
People who cover their entire ear in tiny to huge hoops. Obnoxious.
Large-lobed people squeezing on tiny hoops, creating a look I like to call ‘arse ear’.
Wearing hair down with hooped earrings, especially ones with detail that dangles - a mess of matted hair and glass beads.
Heart shaped golden hoops. I’ve yet to meet an ear they flattered.
Mid sized hoops ... hey are just so indifferent it angers me.
"I could go on ... If you can make them work, go for it! Just don’t expect to see me rocking a pair anytime soon."
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